Where are you now…when I kneed you

Without constructive criticism, improvement is virtually impossible. Armed with this noble philosophy and an in depth knowledge of the beautiful game, I have decided to share a couple of potentially helpful observations with the great minds of the English FA.

Steve McClaren is a tool. Macca was a poor manager at club level, he’s so far out of his depth on the international stage that it’s a miracle he’s not suffering from the bends.

His original decision to drop Beckham was flawed at best, but when offered the ‘get out of jail free’ card that was the injuries to Hargreaves and Lennon, he preferred to utilise the ‘skills’ of Jenas, Downing and Richardson. You simply can’t back this England team at odds of 1/10 against a reasonable Macedonian outfit; although I wouldn’t dissuade anyone from perming a 1-0 / 2-0 / 3-0 win at a much healthier 7/5.

I’m not a great admirer of Peter Crouch as a rule, but thanks to a process of elimination i’ve reached the shocking conclusion that he’s England’s most likely goal scorer. Rooney’s struggling, Gerrard’s wasted on the wing, Downing’s a million miles from international class and Lampard would need 29 attempts to score on an 18-30 (stone) holiday. Back Crouch at even money to keep up his incredible recent record.

If the England team were picked on current form, Wayne Rooney wouldn’t get a look in; he’s currently giving the ball away like a ginger schoolboy. Wayne hasn’t scored a competitive goal for England for over two years, my initial shock at seeing 8/13 for a Rooney goal soon faded as the realisation dawned that he’ll be available at 6/5 not to score. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Most people know ELO as the awful 1970’s progressive rock outfit, but the ELO ratings are a tool for judging the strengths of international football teams. While FIFA have Scotland as the 34th strongest team in world football, ELO show a more realistic 40th place. Strangely, both differ dramatically from my own personal rating system, where the Sweaties are sandwiched between the Amazonian Forest and Krakatoa in 594th place.

France have the luxury of a match against Scotland at Hampden; or ‘Le Bye’ as it’s known in Paris. Value is normally harder to find than a Scotsman at a World Cup but the French are the literal definition at 7/10.

Call me paranoid, but before buying lamb from a butcher I always enquire from where the meat originated; you can’t be too careful. Wales host Slovakia in their qualifier and an away win is definitely on the cards. The Slovaks have seen off Germany and France over the last year; you should get involved at 2/1.

How on earth did the phrase ‘the luck of the Irish’ originate? An 80 year war for independence must have been grating, running out of potatoes is always annoying and if conclusive proof was needed that luck is not on their side; they landed in the same qualifying group as Germany and the Czech Republic. The Irish have been decimated by injuries for their trip to Cyprus, the draw appeals at 16/5.

Northern Ireland’s recent win over Spain was perhaps the most unlikely result since Goliath took a dive against David after laying himself heavily on the exchanges. There are many phrases that could adequately describe the 2/7 on offer for a Danish side (who have recently destroyed Poland, Portugal and England) playing at home to Lawrie Sanchez’s minnows; I’ve settled for ‘the best bet in the history of gambling’.

The Italians have stubbornly refused to win in their campaign so far, somehow knowing they were the last leg of my accer. Italy destroyed Ukraine in a world cup quarter final in the summer, a repeat at 1/2 should not be ruled out.

Ever since I watched Prisoner Cell Block H as a child, i’ve felt a strong affinity with the Aussies. Bea Smith’s fight against drugs within the prison system was as inspirational as it was dramatic. Australia face Paraguay in a friendly match live on Eurosport, I like the Aussies at a criminally large 11/10.

There’s always something happening in the Dutch camp. An injury to Huntelaar forced the Holland manager to offer Van Nistelrooy a return to the International stable, but the Ruud boy told Van Basten where to stick his olive branch, and it wasn’t in a local dike. Holland have the quality to stroll to a win in Bulgaria, the 4/5 should be snapped up.

The acc of the week:

This week’s accer is so delightful; Paul McCartney is considering reuniting with Heather Mills as a direct result. “I may go out on a limb and ask her to come back,” a loved up McCartney may have mused. Slovakia, France, Holland, Denmark and Italy are the teams, the payout is a generous 16/1.

The quote of the week

“I don't like diving, football doesn't need it.”
Wayne Rooney on the curse of the modern game; Sol Campbell is currently looking for a fresh pair of underpants.

The lay man:

While the fat cats hoover up all the free money laying Northern Ireland at 16/1, us normal Joes can make a profit taking on the Sweaties at 6/1.

Weekend Betting:

Wales v Slovakia Saturday 7th October 15:00 Live on Sky

Wales 6/4
Draw 11/5
Slovakia 2/1

Selection: Slovakia

Suggested bet
No bet

England v Macedonia Saturday 7th October 17:00 Live on BBC

England 1/10
Draw 8/1
Macedonia 33/1

Selection: England

Suggested bet
England to win either 1-0/2-0/3-0 3 pts @ 7/5

Scotland v France Saturday 7th October 17:00 Live on Sky

Scotland 9/2
Draw 5/2
France 7/10

Selection: France

Suggested bet
France to win 2 pts @ 7/10

Cyprus v Rep of Ireland Saturday 7th October 17:30

Cyprus 13/2
Draw 16/5
Rep of Ireland 1/2

Selection: Draw

Suggested bet
Lay Ireland at 1/2 (to win 2 pts)


Bulgaria v Holland Saturday 7th October 19:00

Bulgaria 4/1
Draw 12/5
Holland 4/5

Selection: Holland

Suggested bet
No bet

Denmark v Northern Ireland Saturday 7th October 19:00 Live on BBC NI

Denmark 2/7
Draw 4/1
Northern Ireland 16/1

Selection: Denmark

Suggested bet
Denmark to win 7 pts @ 2/7

Italy v Ukraine Saturday 7th October 19:50

Italy 1/2
Draw 14/5
Ukraine 13/2

Selection: Italy

Suggested bet
No bet

Australia v Paraguay (Int’l friendly) Saturday 7th October 10:30 Live on Eurosport

Australia 11/10
Draw 9/4
Paraguay 3/1

Selection: Australia

Suggested bet
No bet

Copyright (c) Gerry McDonnell & soccerphile.com

English Premiership Betting

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The bitterest pillow

I am not a happy man. As a rule, the wife and I are normally easy going, or to be more truthful, she’s easy and I’m going. But for some strange reason, after just two weeks of quality football, the Premiership has been sidelined to make way for the International, like Cinderella being dumped in favour of her ugly sister. (The other one married me.) I haven’t been this upset since the wife first told me she was pregnant, (It was my own fault, i was hoping that her looks would provide adequate contraception; damn those pillow cases.) luckily, i have now calmed down enough to point the way to a few cracking weekend punts.

After an unproductive World Cup, it’s time to embrace a brand new dawn for the English game. I’d like to offer my best wishes to the man who was without a shadow of a doubt, the most outstanding candidate to replace Sven Goran Eriksson; good luck at the Villa, Martin O’Neill. Incredible as it may seem, O’Neill was overlooked as the FA first courted ‘Big Phil’ Scolari, before settling for ‘first choice’ Steve ‘I once bought Michael Ricketts’ McClaren.

Let’s be honest, Macca is no Brian Clough, his record at Middlesbrough was a joke. The Boro board backed him to the hilt financially, yet McClaren could only finish in the top half of the Premiership once. Still, there’s no point in crying over spilt milk (only a significant loss of lager justifies tears), even Macca can lead England to a comfortable victory over Andorra. The English are unbackable at 1/50, playing on a 4-0 scoreline at 13/2 can prove a profitable alternative.

McClaren’s first duty as England manager was to shut the door on David Beckham, the best crosser of a ball in world football. The situation would be comical if it wasn’t so serious. There’s no Becks, there’s no Rooney, the first goal scorer betting centres around Crouch and Frank ‘one goal every thirty shots’ Lampard. God help us all. Lamps is the lesser of two evils at 5/1.

I’m a big fan of John Terry; I can honestly say that I would never, under any circumstances, throw him out of a nightclub. The new England captain is available at 9/2 to score with a header; that’s worth a second look.

Scotland host the Faroe Isles in their opening qualifier and I’m preparing for a bad day. It’s absolute carnage in my house when the Jocks play, the wife gets all patriotic; out comes the haggis, the bagpipes and the syringe. Scotland were held to a 2-2 draw by the Faroe Isles four years ago, I think there’s a great chance of a shock here; I think Scotland can nick it at 1/8.

Krissy Boyd scores plenty of goals at a domestic level, but I’d probably score 30 a season in the SPL. I’m tipping Boyd to net the opener for our skirt-wearing neighbours at 3/1 thanks to a complex new system I’ve been developing, if a team has only one decent player, pick him.

Tomas Rosicky could do with an easy match to guarantee a win after a depressing start to the season with Arsenal. Luckily for Tommy, the Czech’s are hosting Wales. There’s been a few tears shed in Robbie Savage’s caravan since John Toshack was appointed the Welsh manager, there will be a few more when the Czech’s take an easy three points at 2/5.

I’m a big fan of Bjork, the Icelandic nutcase once beat up a reporter for saying, “Welcome to Bangkok,” tough but fair. Iceland have been priced up at 9/4 for their trip to Northern Ireland, be like Bjork and get stuck in. There’s only one call for first goalscorer betting, that’s Gudjohnsen, Eidur put a bet on it at 6/1.

The Republic of Ireland are in the same group as Germany and the Czech Republic, but have kindly promised to fulfil their fixtures anyway. The Irish travel to Stuttgart to begin their campaign, the Germans will walk it at 4/9.

Stan Staunton was held at gunpoint recently, police are looking for a complete madman, Niall Quinn hasn’t been ruled out. Another lanky forward looks the call to open the scoring, take a Klose look at Miroslav at 4/1.

Ruud Van Nistelrooy has been left out of the Dutch squad for the trip to Luxembourg. The horse-faced goal machine was reportedly devastated by Van Basten’s decision, but he’s since been stabilised. Only the rich can play on the Dutch at 1/50, a correct score perm of 3-0 / 4-0 will have to suffice for the rest of us at 12/5.

There’s a real treat in store for footy fans on Sunday, when Brazil lock horns with Argentina at the Emirates. From the look of the squads, both managers are taking this friendly seriously; Tevez, Messi, and Riquelme will face off against Ronaldinho, Robinho and Kaka. Ronaldo ‘too fat to have two names’ hasn’t made the squad which gives the Brazilians a glimmer of hope, but I’ll be on the Argies at 7/4.

The acc of the week:

The accer this week is so nailed on, a team of demolition experts would struggle to loosen it. Iceland, Scotland, France, Czech Republic, Germany and Italy are the teams, the payout is a pleasing 10/1.

The quote of the week:

“When you are good enough to go to Arsenal, you are good enough to play in the England team; because there are many players who play for England who would not play at Arsenal.”

Arsene Wenger is such a diplomat, he refused to name Peter Crouch.

The lay man:

England are a fantastic lay at 6/1 to win Euro 2008, but if you want your money tied up for years you should consider marriage. On the weekend action, Northern Ireland should definitely be layed on the exchanges at 13/10.

Weekend Betting:


Northern Ireland v Iceland Saturday 2nd September 15:00 Live on BBC NI

Northern Ireland 5/4
Draw 11/5
Iceland 9/4

Get on: Iceland

Match Special:
Iceland to score three or more goals 6/1

Scotland v Faroe Isles Saturday 2nd September 15:00 Live on Sky

Scotland 1/8
Draw 15/2
Faroe Isles 25/1

Get on: Scotland

Match Special:
Boyd to score a hat-trick 12/1

England v Andorra Saturday 2nd September 17:00 Live on BBC

England 1/50
Draw 10/1
Andorra 80/1

Get on: England

Match Special:
The first goal to be scored before/during the 18 minute mark 5/6

Georgia v France Saturday 2nd September 17:00

Georgia 7/1
Draw 16/5
France 4/9

Get on: France

Match Special:
France to score in both halves 5/4

Czech Rep v Wales Saturday 2nd September 19:15 Live on Sky

Czech Rep 2/5
Draw 10/3
Wales 8/1

Get on: Czech Rep

Match Special:
Rosicky to score from outside the area 13/2

Luxembourg v Holland Saturday 2nd September 19:30

Luxembourg 50/1
Draw 9/1
Holland 1/50

Get on: Holland

Match Special:
Kuyt to score a hat-trick 11/1

Germany v Rep of Ireland Saturday 2nd September 19:45

Germany 4/9
Draw 3/1
Rep of Ireland 7/1

Get on: Germany

Match Special:
Germany to win and keep a clean sheet 11/10

Italy v Lithuania Saturday 2nd September 19:50

Italy 1/7
Draw 11/2
Lithuania 16/1

Get on: Italy

Match Special:
Pirlo to score direct from a free kick 13/2

Spain v Liechtenstein Saturday 2nd September 21:00

Spain 1/50
Draw 10/1
Liechtenstein 80/1

Get on: Spain

Match Special:
Villa to score a hat-trick 10/1

Brazil v Argentina Sunday 3rd September 16:00 Live on BBC

Brazil 6/4
Draw 11/5
Argentina 7/4

Get on: Argentina

Match Special:
Riquelme to score at any time 7/2



Copyright (c) Gerry McDonnell & soccerphile.com

Van Nistelrooy - Tailormade For Real Madrid

Ruud van Nistelrooy

Kako zabija nizozemski topnik

Ruud van Nistelrooy jedan je od onih odabranih igrača koji izvrsno izgledaju u dresu Real Madrida - kao da su za taj klub rođeni. I navijači "bijelih" bili su oduševljeni njegovim dolaskom te su prinovu dočekali kao nekoć Napolitanci Maradonu. Zasad su simpatije obostrane, jer Nizozemac tvrdi da se odlično snašao u novoj sredini.

"Čim sam se priključio momčadi, osjetio sam se potpuno uklopljenim u ovaj klub. Uspjeti u Real Madridu moj je glavni cilj. Ostavit ću srce i dušu na travnjaku da bih osvojio srca Realovih navijača", obećao je pri dolasku i najavio veliku sezonu s dva gola protiv Anderlechta u utakmici za Trofej Santiaga Bernabeua, koju je Real dobio s 2:1.

Svoju je novu momčad ocijenio superlativima.

"Imamo kompletan i ujednačen sastav, koji igra privlačan nogomet. To je vrlo povoljno za napadača. Zajedničkim trudom ostvarit ćemo mnoge uspjehe."

Real je zadnji trofej osvojio u kolovozu 2003., a i tada je to bio samo španjolski Superkup protiv Mallorce.

(mn) Rasna devetka počela kao stoper

"Nema dvojbe da su trofeji najvažniji, no španjolska je liga jako komplicirana, zapravo najjača na svijetu." - ocijenio je Van Nistelrooy, koji je pozorno pratio zbivanja u Primeri godinama prije no što je postao član najvećeg kluba na svijetu.

Koliko je istine u njegovim predviđanjima pokazao je i ligaški debi protiv Villarreala na Santiago Bernabeuu. Mada je Villarreal igrao slabije nego što smo navikli u proteklim sezonama, uspio je izvući bod, a Ruud ni njegovi suigrači nisu zabili ni gola.

Rutgerus Johannes Martinus van Nistelrooy, zvani Ruud, čistokrvna je devetka, koja vječito lunja kaznenim prostorom u potrazi za slobodnom loptom da je pospremi u mrežu. Njegovo je ubojito oružje udarac glavom, a pored toga i udarac lijevom nogom, s kojom je postigao više golova no s desnom. Neumoljiv je i s bijele točke i s mjesta gdje se izvode slobodni udarci.

Iako nije u ljubavi s izbornikom Marcom van Bastenom, ne možemo propustiti primijetiti da je po karizmi, čak i po crtama lica, usporediv upravo sa svojim prethodnikom.

Zanimljivo je da je tako rasni centarfor kao Van Nistelrooy, kojega jedva možemo zamisliti na nekoj drugoj poziciji, u početku bavljenja nogometom igrao na mjestu stopera. Tek je 1996. treneru Den Boscha palo na pamet iskoristiti njegovu zapaženu brzinu i smisao za finiširanje akcija tako da ga je prebacio čim bliže protivničkim vratima. Rezultat nije izostao te je Ruud u prvoj sezoni kao napadač ubacio 12 golova u prvenstvu. Klub u usponu, Heerenveen, preuzeo ga je 1997. i također se odmah okoristio njegovom navalnom djelotvornošću. S novih je 13 pogodaka zainteresirao najstabilniji nizozemski klub, PSV Eindhoven, koji ga je spario s iskusnim Lucom Nilisom u vršku napada.

Van Nistelrooy je bio senzacija od prvog dana na Philipsovom stadionu. S fantastičnim 31 pogotkom u 34 utakmice (0,95 po utakmici) nadmašio je i učinak Ronalda kad je Brazilac igrao za PSV i u razmaku od par mjeseci postao tema razgovora nogometnih fanatika širom svijeta. Kao nagradu, primio je trofej za najboljeg igrača nizozemskog prvenstva.

(mn) Pogodak po utakmici

Iduće je godine dodatno poboljšao preciznost te je u prva 23 kola zabio čak 29 puta (1,1 po utakmici) i pomogao PSV-u izgraditi nedostižno vodstvo na čelu ljestvice. Manchester United već je "uletio" s ponudom, tražeći nadomjestak za Colea ili Yorkea, no tada se dogodilo nešto nezamislivo. Na treningu 6. ožujka 2000. nespretnim je pokretom potrgao ligamente koljena i ostao 11 mjeseci izvan akcije. Unatoč ozljedi, još je jednom zaslužio naslov igrača godine.

United je ostao vjeran svom izabraniku te mu je obećao ugovor još prije no što se vratio na teren. Napokon, 1. ožujka 2001., malo prije godišnjice ozljede, odigrao je prijateljsku utakmicu protiv Sparte iz Rotterdama, zabivši dva pogotka. Dva dana kasnije, vraćen je među prvotimce protiv Rode u prvenstvu.

U travnju 2001. Manchester je dogovorio s PSV-om transfer Van Nistelrooya za 19 milijuna dolara i svečano ga predstavio na Old Traffordu u srpnju iste godine. Ispostavilo se da ozljeda nije nimalo otupila njegovu oštricu, jer je Ruud u prvoj sezoni podario Vragovima 36 golova u svim natjecanjima, a 2003. čak 44, ovjenčavši se titulom najboljeg strijelca i naslovom prvaka - jedinim u svojoj epohi u Premiershipu. Brojku od 100 golova u dresu Manchestera dosegao je 7. veljače 2004., završivši sezonu s 28 golova i kao pobjednik Kupa FA. Ozljeda mišića umanjila je njegov učinak 2004/05, ali se i od te nepogode oporavio i, kao da se ništa nije dogodilo, prošle sezone još jednom predveo strijelce Uniteda s 21 ligaškim pogotkom

Lukavi Alex Ferguson uvijek nastoji izvući maksimalni profit od igrača tako da ga gurne na tržište dok mu je cijena još visoka. Nije isključeno da su njegovi sukobi s igračima, uključujući Beckhama i Stama, izrežirani zato da bi igrač lakša srca otišao iz kluba. U svakom slučaju, Ferguson je proljetos Nizozemca izostavio s finala Ligaškog kupa, a potom mu nije dao da igra na oproštaju Roya Keanea, još jednog od onih koji su se zakvačili sa zajapurenim Škotom.

Koncem prvenstva postalo je jasno da Van Nistelrooy ne želi ostati na Old Traffordu, što su oduševljeno dočekali Real i - Bayern. Prema medijskim izvještajima, Bayern je čak Manchesteru ponudio više na ime odštete, no Ruud je pritisnuo klupske gazde da ga ustupe Realu. Nakon dugog natezanja oko cijene, Španjolci su platili 15 milijuna eura i sklopili s Nizozemcem trogodišnji ugovor.


Reprezentacija - završena priča?

Realov trener Fabio Capello može biti sretan što je njegov novi igrač izgleda ispao iz reprezentativne konkurencije, jer ga Van Basten nije pozvao za prve kvalifikacijske utakmice protiv Luksemburga i Bjelorusije za Euro 2008. Bez naprezanja u narančastoj majici, Ruud će municiju čuvati za samo za nastupe u Realu.

Van Nistelrooy je za reprezentaciju debitirao 18. studenog 1998. u dvoboju s Njemačkom i dosada je odigrao 54 utakmice, postigavši 28 golova. Bio je prisutan na Europskim prvenstvima 2000. i 2004. te na prošlom Mundialu u Njemačkoj, no Van Basten ga je senzacionalno izostavio u osmini finala protiv Portugala, kad je Nizozemska poražena s 0:1.

Izbornikov potez nije nikad razjašnjen, osobito ako se zna da je već ranije otpisao i Bayernovog Roya Makaaya. Mada, istina je i da su na scenu stupili mladi lavovi poput Klaasa-Jana Huntelaara i Dirka Kuyta, koji su pokazali raskošan napadački talent.


Osobna karta

Rutgerus Johannes van Nistelrooy
Nadimak: Van the Man, Lokomotiva
Datum rođenja: 1 srpnja 1976.
Mjesto rođenja: Oss (Nizozemska)
Visina i težina: 188 cm, 80 kg
Pozicija: srednji napadač
Klub: Real Madrid

Klupska karijera

1993/94 Den Bosch 2 0
1994/95 Den Bosch 15 3
1995/96 Den Bosch 21 2
1996/97 Den Bosch 31 12
1997/98 Heerenveen 31 13
1998/99 PSV Eindhoven 34 31
1999/00 PSV Eindhoven 23 29
2000/01 PSV Eindhoven 10 2
2001/02 Manchester United 32 23
2002/03 Manchester United 34 25
2003/04 Manchester United 32 20
2004/05 Manchester United 17 6
2005/06 Manchester United 35 21
2006/07 Real Madrid

Reprezentacija

1998-06 Nizozemska 54 28

Uspjesi

Nizozemsko prvenstvo: 2000. i 2001.
Nizozemski Superkup: 1999.
Englesko prvenstvo: 2003.
Engleski Kup FA: 2004.
Engleski Ligaški kup: 2006.

Najbolji strijelac nizozemskog prvenstva: 1999. i 2000.
Igrač godine u Nizozemskoj: 1999. i 2000.
Najbolji strijelac engleskog prvenstva: 2003.

Copyright Ozren Podnar/Soccerphile/Nogomet

Cesc, Drogs and Rock and Roll

Working on a Sunday is comparable to sleeping with the wife, it occurs rarely and it’s never enjoyable. The gaffer is aware of my reticence, whenever circumstances demand that I appear on the Sabbath he throws me double time and a day in lieu, I’m reasonably happy with that, but Louise has just handed her notice in. As a result, I’ll be spending this Sunday watching three live Premiership matches.

Chelsea v West Ham kicks off the action at midday and an early shock could be on the cards. Man United are breathing down the champion’s necks and Chelsea are feeling the pressure; they’re currently wobbling like a jelly on a drunken Sumo wrestler.

There’s a definite cloud over the Bridge, after being booed by his own supporters, a depressed Didier Drogba is reportedly considering a move away from the club. Imagine that, Drogba, down. There’s a real case for backing the Hammers at 8/1 against a choking Chelsea, but a lay of the Champions at around the 3/10 mark on the exchanges is a more practical option. It’s practically in already.

Super Sunday continues when Liverpool host Bolton, and this one could be tasty. If my memory serves me correctly, Stevie Gerrard used Kevin Nolan’s back as a trampoline earlier in the season; you would think he could afford his own. A sending off in the match is available at 10/3, that’s definitely worth a small interest.

Robbie Fowler has had a good week, after overtaking Kenny Dalglish in Liverpool’s all-time goal scorer list; Rafa has confirmed that a couple more goals could earn him a new contract at the club. The scally legend has a lot to play for, and like a dyslexic hippy; i’m a big believer in ‘Fowler power’. The Pool should be backed at 1/2 to take the three points; Robbie should be backed at 11/10 to get on the scoresheet.

After a couple of tasty starters, the live action reaches a crescendo when Arsenal travel to Old Trafford. This fixture has finished goalless on the last two meetings, but that’s about to change. Arsenal are currently in a purple patch, and United’s patch is arguably even purpler, it’s a Fergie’s nose patch. There will be goals in this one, and United want it that little bit more. They’re good looking bets at even money.

Van Nistelrooy started on the bench last week, came on, went to ground easily, and then banged in his 150th goal for the club, it was a typical Van the man performance. Nistelrooy and Arsenal have a little history, he’s a 9/2 shot to score the last goal against his old mates. The British press have had Cesc on their brain all week, but United have a half decent youngster of their own, his name’s Rooney, and he can play ball. Wayne likes the big occasion, he’s a 6/4 shot to score at any time.

Martin Jol’s decision to continuously play Mido ahead of Jermain Defoe leaves me perplexed. As I often reassure the wife, there’s nothing wrong with having two little ones up front. Spurs play hosts to a Man City team who still have their manager’s savage criticism ringing through their ears, an improved performance from City is an absolute certainty; 7/2 screams value.

The Boro v Newcastle match reminds me of the time I holidayed in the Orient, there’s every chance it might end up in a tie. The last three meets between these two have finished all square, a trend that looks set to continue. 11/5 is on offer, let’s rock and roll.

The weekend specials:

“I should be so lucky” - Portsmouth to keep a clean sheet 15/8
“All you need is Love” - Lovenkrands to score and Rangers to win 1-0 20/1
“Johnny be good” - John Terry to be booked 11/4
“Shay a little prayer” - Newcastle to keep a clean sheet 15/8
“Let's talk about Cesc” - Fabregas to score two or more goals 25/1

Quote of the week:

“Every time I pull on the shirt, I give 120%.”
Jermain Defoe puts all other professional footballers to shame, they only put in 110%.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

A quick perusal through the Premiership’s top 20 goal scorers this season makes interesting reading; the most lethal striker is…Luke Moore. Aston Villa’s rising star scores a goal every 1.88 shots. To put that stat in perspective, Rooney’s ratio is 1 in 4.85, Lampard scores 1 in 5.80.

Acc of the week:

Man City, Fulham, Aston Villa and Liverpool are all good looking bets on their own, throw them all together, you’ve got a gorgeous little 32/1 accer.

Weekend Betting:

Tottenham v Man City Saturday 8th April 12.45 Live on Premiership Plus

Tottenham 4/6
Draw 12/5
Man City 7/2

Get on: Man City

Both teams go in to the match on the back of a disappointing defeat. Tottenham struggled to see off West Brom in their last home match, 7/2 about City stands out.
Match Special:
Man City to score two or more goals 3/1

Charlton v Everton Saturday 8th April 15.00

Charlton 5/4
Draw 9/4
Everton 7/4

Get on: Charlton

Charlton are unbeaten at home this year; Everton are winless in five on the road. The Toffeemen failed to beat Sunderland last week, at home.
Match Special:
Darren Bent to score the only goal of the game 25/1

Portsmouth v Blackburn Saturday 8th April 15.00

Portsmouth 6/4
Draw 11/5
Blackburn 6/4

Get on: Portsmouth

It’s three wins out of three for Pompey; Blackburn have lost five of their last six matches away from Ewood Park.
Match Special:
Mendes to score at any time 4/1

Sunderland v Fulham Saturday 8th April 15.00

Sunderland 13/8
Draw 11/5
Fulham 11/8

Get on: Fulham

Sunderland have not won a home match all season, Fulham have failed to win away. The Mackems have only found the net in two of their previous nine home matches, Fulham have scored in five of their last six away games. An ‘O’ must go, it’ll be Fulham’s.
Match Special:
Fulham to keep a clean sheet 7/4

Wigan v Birmingham Saturday 8th April 17.15 Live on Premiership Plus

Wigan 5/6
Draw 5/2
Birmingham 5/2

Get on: Birmingham

Wigan have lost their last three in front of their own supporters; City have beaten Bolton and held Chelsea in their last two games.
Match Special:
Birmingham to win 1-0 8/1

Aston Villa v West Brom Sunday 9th April 12.00

Aston Villa 11/10
Draw 2/1
West Brom 9/4

Get on: Aston Villa

Villa have taken four points from their last two home matches (against fellow strugglers Pompey and Fulham). The Albion have lost their last three, and they’ve never beaten the Villa in the Premiership.
Match Special:
Steven Davis to score at any time 4/1

Chelsea v West Ham Sunday 9th April 12.00 Live on Sky

Chelsea 2/7
Draw 7/2
West Ham 8/1

Get on: West Ham

Four points out of nine constitutes a bad run of form for Chelsea; the Hammers have won five of their last eight away games, including a triumph at Highbury. I’ve seen worse 8/1 shots.
Match Special:
Harewood to score the only goal of the game 90/1

Liverpool v Bolton Sunday 9th April 14.00 Live on Sky

Liverpool 1/2
Draw 12/5
Bolton 11/2

Get on: Liverpool

Liverpool have won five on the bounce, scoring 20 goals. Bolton have lost their last three, conceding seven times. It’s been over 50 years since Bolton won a league match at Anfield.
Match Special:
Liverpool to win and keep a clean sheet 11/10

Middlesbrough v Newcastle Sunday 9th April 15.00

Middlesbrough 6/4
Draw 11/5
Newcastle 6/4

Get on: Draw

There’s a history of draws in this fixture, with both teams being consistently inconsistent, another tied match is the sensible conclusion.
Match Special:
Match to finish 2-2 14/1

Man Utd v Arsenal Sunday 9th April 16.00 Live on Sky

Man Utd Evs
Draw 9/4
Arsenal 9/4

Get on: Man Utd

The two hot teams in the Premiership collide, it’s eight consecutive victories for Man U, while Arsenal have handed out four beatings on the bounce. Either team could win, at the available prices; the home team receives the nod.
Match Special:
Any player to be sent off 13/5

Dairy goes again

I often panic over nothing. When the wife trapped me into producing little gambling gurus, i did worry that they may end up with my intelligence and the wife’s looks, which would have narrowed down their future career prospects to ‘circus attraction’. Luckily, they’ve ended up with the wife’s brain, and curiously, the milkman’s looks. I say curious, as the wife and I are lactose intolerant; we have absolutely no time for lactose, and we’re not shy in speaking of our displeasure.

I bring this to your attention because little Goliath is quite bright; he’s trying to remember animals by associating them with football. Whenever Ruud Van Nistelrooy comes off the bench for Man U, he shouts ‘horsey’, as Peter Crouch heads wide he cries ‘donkey’ and when Chelsea are playing, he shakes his head and murmurs ‘cheetahs’. It seems that everyone has cottoned on to Chelsea’s lack of sportsmanship, referees will be next. Any Chelsea player to be booked for diving / simulation against Birmingham is an 11/2 shot.

Amongst all the theatrics, there will also be a game of football. You’ve got to fancy Chelsea to take three points home from St Andrew’s, but 1/3 does not represent value. Playing the correct scores can solve this conundrum; Chelsea to win either 1-0, 2-0 or 3-0 is a 5/4 shot; now we’re cooking.

Phil Neville scored a beauty last week, unfortunately, it was an own goal, against Liverpool. His brother must have been literally seething. Everton are the lucky beneficiaries of a home fixture against Sunderland; they’re 3/10, certainties doesn’t really cover it.

You can’t get rich backing Everton, so taking an interest in a bookings market may prove to be a profitable play. Duncan Ferguson is a fearsome character, like Jason Donovan, he’s done a little bird in the past. Big Dunc took only nine minutes to find his name in the book last week in the Merseyside derby; he’s a 7/2 shot to have his name taken again.

Bolton’s Reebok stadium is a genuine fortress, but Manchester United have a tasty army. Wayne Rooney missed a couple of golden chances against Birmingham last week (If they were chicken legs, he would have put them away), but remains a class act. A rested Van Nistelrooy is back in favour and the talented wobbly-legged Ronaldo has already helped himself to a pair against Bolton earlier in the season. United are available at 10/11, its time to go to war.

Unfortunately for Villa fans, Milan Baros has a get-out clause in his contract that can be triggered if a bid is received for £7 million pound or more, virtually ruling out a potential transfer. The poster declaring ‘We’re not fickle, we just don’t like you’ sums up the supporters’ frustration towards O’Leary’s inability to motivate; an Aston Villa divided amongst itself can not possibly survive at Highbury. Arsenal may rest a couple of players with one eye on Wednesday’s 2nd leg against Juventus, but in all honesty, I’d back Arsenal’s reserves at 2/7 at home to the Villa.

Jermaine Jenas didn’t enjoy his time at Newcastle, he compared his time there to living in a goldfish bowl. On a related note, it’s a fallacy that goldfish only have a memory span of a few seconds, Rio Ferdinand may have, but that’s a different kettle of fish. JJ is set for another disappointing trip to the North East, Spurs will have to settle for a draw, an 11/5 shot.

It’s been said that Middlesbrough’s Emanuel Pogatetz could start a ruck in an empty room, and still finish runner up; but don’t tell him who said it. The Austrian defender has either been booked or saw red in 14 matches this season, it’s 6/4 that he sees another card when he faces Joey Barton and Co. Man City have been depleted by injuries and suspensions, the Boro are the weekend nap at 11/4.

The weekend specials:

“Two halves at the Rovers” - Blackburn to score in both halves 2/1
“Come in handy” - Drogba to score two or more goals 4/1
“Cruising” - Stelios to score at any time 5/2
“April, Pool's day” - Liverpool to win with a clean sheet 6/5
“April, Mule's day” - Van Nistelrooy to score two or more goals 5/1

Quote of the week:

“Sometimes I dive, sometimes I stand.”
Drogba’s half right.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

If Bolton had held on to win all the matches where they had taken a lead, they would be 2nd in the Premiership.

Acc of the week:

Man Utd, Fulham, Liverpool and Middlesbrough tick all the right boxes, an acc on all four will pay 18/1.

Weekend Betting:

Birmingham v Chelsea Saturday 1st April 12.45 Live on Premiership Plus

Birmingham 8/1
Draw 3/1
Chelsea 1/3

Get on: Chelsea

Birmingham have lost their last three without scoring; Chelsea have won their last three without conceding. Historically, Birmingham haven’t beaten Chelsea since the 70’s. There is no argument for a home win.
Match Special:
Chelsea to win 2-0 11/2

Arsenal v Aston Villa Saturday 1st April 15.00

Arsenal 2/7
Draw 7/2
Aston Villa 8/1

Get on: Arsenal

The Gunners have won their last three in the league; the Villa have earned one point out of 12.
Match Special:
Arsenal to win with a clean sheet 4/5

Bolton v Man Utd Saturday 1st April 15.00

Bolton 5/2
Draw 9/4
Man Utd 10/11

Get on: Man Utd

Bolton have conceded 10 goals in 5 games; United have won six on the bounce.
Match Special:
Rooney to score two or more goals 11/2

Everton v Sunderland Saturday 1st April 15.00

Everton 3/10
Draw 10/3
Sunderland 8/1

Get on: Everton

Everton have won their last four at Goodison Park; Sunderland have lost their last six away from home. Everton have beaten Sunderland on the last five occasions they have met.
Match Special:
Beattie to score with a header 7/2

Fulham v Portsmouth Saturday 1st April 15.00

Fulham 4/5
Draw 12/5
Portsmouth 11/4

Get on: Fulham

In the Premiership, Fulham have won five of their last six at home, while Portsmouth have lost five of their last six away. Pompey have lost on their last four visits to the Cottage.
Match Special:
Malbranque to score at any time 3/1

Newcastle v Tottenham Saturday 1st April 15.00

Newcastle 11/8
Draw 11/5
Tottenham 13/8

Get on: Draw

Newcastle have lost their last four, but it’s two wins out of three at St James’ Park. Tottenham have won three of their last four, but it’s only one win in five on the road. An interesting stat, this fixture has always produced a positive result this century, the draw’s due.
Match Special:
HT Newcastle FT Draw 14/1

West Brom v Liverpool Saturday 1st April 17.15 Live on Premiership Plus

West Brom 9/2
Draw 5/2
Liverpool 8/15

Get on: Liverpool

It’s six games without a win for the Albion; Liverpool have won their last four, scoring 18 goals. The Pool have won their last nine matches against West Brom, including two 5-0’s and a 6-0. Ouch.
Match Special:
Liverpool to score four or more goals 6/1

Man City v Middlesbrough Sunday 2nd April 15.00

Man City 5/6
Draw 9/4
Middlesbrough 11/4

Get on: Middlesbrough

Man City have lost their last three; Boro have scored 13 goals in their last six league matches, winning four of them. City have never beaten the Boro at home in the Premiership.
Match Special:
Middlesbrough to score two or more goals 5/2

West Ham v Charlton Sunday 2nd April 16.00 Live on Sky

West Ham 10/11
Draw 9/4
Charlton 5/2

Get on: West Ham

The Hammers have scored two goals or more in their last seven matches at Upton Park; Charlton haven’t won a league match on their travels since October.
Match Special:
West Ham to score three or more goals 7/2

Blackburn v Wigan Monday 3rd April 20.00 Live on Sky

Blackburn 5/6
Draw 9/4
Wigan 11/4

Get on: Blackburn

Wigan have only won 2 of their last 11 matches, and they were against Sunderland and a weakened Man City. Blackburn have won their last three, they’re charging towards Europe.
Match Special:
Craig Bellamy to score at any time 5/4

José, can you see? (The star-mangled spanner)

I have a confession for you all; i’m in the middle of a bad run. After narrowly losing out in the award for ‘Sports journalist of the year’, i was surprisingly pipped at the post for the ‘Gambling personality of the year’ gong. I’ve now discovered that i didn’t even make the top three in the wife’s ‘Best lover of the year’ category, although to be fair, I was runner up in 2003. It could be worse though, I could be José Mourinho.

Chelsea have had a week from hell; Arjen Robben has been banned for four games following a horrific attack on Jonathan Greening, where he flew through the air like a crazed ninja with legs well and truly akimbo. John Terry has been chastised by the press for consistently leading a lynch mob to surround referees, Barcelona strolled to Champions League qualification, and now FIFA have announced that two referees per match is a consideration; presumably, one to keep an eye on the always theatrical Didier Drogba. A bad run attracts an even worse run, Tottenham can snatch a draw at the Bridge, get on at 11/4.

There’s an old Chinese saying, ‘If the purple nosed jockey wants to win the big race, he shouldn’t swap a horse for a donkey.’ For some reason, this makes me think of the Van Nistelrooy / Louis Saha situation at Man Utd. If the rumour mill is correct and Ruud is on his way out of Old Trafford, the betting opportunities are almost endless. Back Newcastle today at 13/2; get on Thierry Henry to win the Golden Boot at 13/8 and pile on Liverpool to finish runners up at 2/1. Call me a mad conspiracy theorist, but I’ve put two and two together; i’ve got a tutu.

As a result of Mick McCarthy receiving his P45, Sunderland are now a viable bet to see off Wigan at the Stadium of Light. The scientifically proven phenomenon of ‘replaced manager syndrome’ will undoubtedly come to the fore. An improved Sunderland performance is an absolute Shay; get on at 7/4.

If / when Portsmouth are relegated, Harry Redknapp will receive the honour of being the first manager to relegate different teams from the Premiership in successive seasons. A quite remarkable achievement; who said that Harry had lost his magic? Madman Joey Barton returns for Man City, as will their form on the road; City are a confident call at 11/8.

At first glance, ‘Robbie Savage’s excellent record’ would appear to be a contradiction in terms, much like ‘Chelsea sportsmanship’ or ‘Soccer AM – The best bits’. But incredibly, the blonde bombshell has only been on the losing side once in 18 matches against Aston Villa. That stat’s impressive, but so are Villa away from home. O’Leary has an honest bunch of lads; they should be backed at 9/4 to take a point home from Blackburn.

Jasper Carrott and Frank Skinner will be glued to Soccer Saturday when Birmingham host West Brom in an old fashioned six pointer; although there’s nothing funny about relegation from the Premiership, or Frank Skinner. Birmingham are the better team, they have home advantage, even money is a little treat.

The weekend specials:

“The crying Dutchman” - Van Nistelrooy not to score 5/6
“The Beat goes on” - James Beattie to score two or more goals 5/1
“Brom disposal” - Birmingham to score three or more goals 4/1
“A high roller” - Drogba to score with a header 9/2

Quote of the week:

“I don’t think so; Barcelona could not beat us 11 v 11.”
The deluded José Mourinho, responding to the question, “Did the better team qualify?”

Stat, you’re a liberty:

If Fulham could replicate their home form on the road, they would be Chelsea’s closest challengers.

Acc of the week:

Birmingham, Everton, Man City and Arsenal form the weekend accer. It’s so cute, you could take it home to meet your mother; it pays out at 17/1.

Weekend Betting:

Birmingham v West Brom Saturday 11th March 12.00

Birmingham Evs
Draw 9/4
West Brom 9/4

Get on: Birmingham

Blues have won every Premiership match against the Baggies at St Andrew’s, and won 3-2 at the Hawthorns earlier in the season. City have won two of the last three by a goal to nil, a trend that looks set to continue against the out of form Baggies.
Match Special:
Birmingham to win 1-0 6/1

Chelsea v Tottenham Saturday 11th March 12.45 Live on Premiership Plus

Chelsea 4/9
Draw 11/4
Tottenham 11/2

Get on: Draw

Chelsea have only won 5 of their last 11; Tottenham are undefeated in four. This is not the formality that 4/9 would suggest.
Match Special:
Match to finish 1-1 13/2

Bolton v West Ham Saturday 11th March 15.00

Bolton Evs
Draw 9/4
West Ham 9/4

Get on: Draw

This is the 4th instalment of a 5 match extravaganza between West Ham and Bolton this season; Big Sam’s men are currently 2-1-0. It finished 0-0 in the FA Cup at the Reebok a couple of weeks back, a repeat can not be ruled out.
Match Special:
No goal scorer in the match 8/1

Everton v Fulham Saturday 11th March 15.00

Everton 8/11
Draw 9/4
Fulham 10/3

Get on: Everton

A great stat in this fixture, every time they’ve met in the Premiership (9 times), the home team has emerged victorious. Fulham have never won a league match at Goodison Park in 55 years (on and off) of trying. Everton have won four of the last five at Goodison 1-0, I rest my case.
Match Special:
Everton to win 1-0 6/1

Portsmouth v Man City Saturday 11th March 15.00

Portsmouth 13/8
Draw 11/5
Man City 11/8

Get on: Man City

Harry’s men have only picked up 1 point out of a possible 24, they’re going down. City have won their last three against Pompey, it’s about to become four.
Match Special:
Man City to score three or more goals 5/1

Sunderland v Wigan Saturday 11th March 15.00

Sunderland 7/4
Draw 9/4
Wigan 5/4

Get on: Sunderland

Wigan’s winless run has now reached nine games; Sunderland’s caretaker manager Kevin Ball couldn’t have picked a better match to open his account, apart from Portsmouth at home, or West Brom at home.
Match Special:
Sunderland to keep a clean sheet 2/1

Blackburn v Aston Villa Saturday 11th March 17.15 Live on Premiership Plus

Blackburn 8/11
Draw 9/4
Aston Villa 10/3

Get on: Draw

It’s three consecutive home wins for Blackburn; the Villa haven’t tasted defeat on the road for four months. That’ll be a draw then.
Match Special:
Match to finish 2-2 14/1

Man Utd v Newcastle Sunday 12th March 13.30 Live on Sky

Man Utd 2/5
Draw 11/4
Newcastle 13/2

Get on: Newcastle

Man U looked far from comfortable last time out at the JJB, a 2-1 win was daylight robbery. It’s five wins out of six for the Toon Army, I’ve seen worse 13/2 shots.
Match Special:
Emre or Solano to score at any time 15/8

Charlton v Middlesbrough Sunday 12th March 15.00

Charlton 10/11
Draw 9/4
Middlesbrough 5/2

Get on: Draw

Charlton’s last three games have finished goalless; Boro have either kept a clean sheet or failed to score in eight of their last nine games. 4 of the last 10 between these two have finished goalless, you can rule out a 4-4 draw.
Match Special:
No Goalscorer in the match 8/1

Arsenal v Liverpool Sunday 12th March 16.00 Live on Sky

Arsenal 6/5
Draw 11/5
Liverpool 15/8

Get on: Arsenal

Liverpool are not performing away from home, it’s four defeats from their last six on the road. Arsenal have won this fixture convincingly for the last couple of seasons, 3-1 and 4-2. One goal should be enough for the Gunners to take the points in this one.
Match Special:
Arsenal to win 1-0 6/1

Smudge not, lest ye be Smudged

Throughout history, if a cause is powerful enough, people will unite to make the World a better place. Thousands shared Woodstock’s vision of peace and love, and even more answered a hairy Irishman’s call, when he arranged for average middle of the road pop acts to perform across four continents, in a half-assed attempt to reduce global poverty. When Middlesbrough play Birmingham on Saturday 4th March, we too can make a stand against a new evil, incorrectly priced football teams. Let’s come together to back the Boro at 10/11.

McClaren’s men are standing strong in Europe and they’ve hit a purple patch in the league, while Birmingham hover just two places from the foot of the table. Admittedly it’s not risk free, but you’re taking a chance when you eat a late night kebab or when you sleep with loose women. Obviously I wouldn’t behave in such a manner myself, I don’t like chilli sauce. The Boro won 3-0 at St Andrew’s when they weren’t playing well, imagine what will happen at the Riverside now they are. At 10/11, this is the value bet of the season, spread the word.

Sam Allardyce asks a valid question. What does Kevin Nolan have to do to receive International recognition? Apart from growing another two and a half foot and signing for Liverpool, the answer is I just don’t know. Sven is not alone in underestimating Bolton, bookmakers have been slow to appreciate that they’re now a top 6 side.

A trip to St James’ Park won’t be easy though, Newcastle have collected 10 points out of a possible 12 recently, even the most optimistic/inebriated Geordie would have been surprised by that tally. This one has ‘draw’ written all over it, take advantage at 9/4.

If Liverpool had Darren Bent they’d be challenging Chelsea for the Title; they’ve got Peter Crouch, they’re not. Bent’s theatrics earned the Addicks three points against the Reds at the Valley just three weeks ago; revenge is a dish best served cold, like my dinner. The Pool will win; they’re available at 4/9.

I liked Psycho’s reaction to Joey Barton’s red card last week, “I’ll tell him that Stuart Pearce was sent off five times in 1,000 matches.” Although he makes an excellent point, Gerry McDonnell is not a fan of speaking in the third person. City improved when Barton left the pitch that day, a similar performance against Sunderland will see them romp home. Football is a funny old game, although I won’t be laughing if Sunderland win or draw, i’m on City at 2/5.

The Gunners form on the road is the most perplexing mystery since i found an extra large pair of boxer shorts under the bed. There’s no logical reason why Arsenal can win easily at the Bernabeu, yet take a beating at Ewood Park and the Hawthorns. The Gunners have a quality squad and could well leave the Cottage with three points, but after being bitten twice, you’ve got to stop stroking the dog. I’m backing Fulham at 7/4.

Fergie’s ruck with Van Nistelrooy has been headline news all week, but the real story to come out of United’s Carling Cup stroll should be the victory t-shirts. Alan Smith has been labelled ‘Smudge’; it’s perhaps the worst nickname in the history of football. The FA should launch an immediate enquiry into why ‘short stuff’, ‘nutjob’ and ‘meedy’ were cruelly overlooked. The art of nicknaming has joined rugby in England’s ‘We’re not good at doing it anymore’ column, a crying shame. This tips for you Smudger; get on Man Utd to beat Wigan at 8/13.

The weekend specials:

“The Gud book” - Gudjohnsen to be booked 4/1
“Brown knows” - Wes Brown to score at any time 12/1
“Agger, do do do” - Daniel Agger to be booked 5/2
“You can Ron, but you can’t Eid” - Ronaldo to score, Gudjohnsen not to score 10/3

Quote of the week:

“We’re not going to Cardiff for a nice day out.”
Paul Jewell pounded the nail on the head.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

The league table would have a slightly different look if matches ended at the 45 minute mark. Man Utd would be six points clear at the top of the table, while Everton would have consolidated their Champions League position. The bottom 3 would be Sunderland, Portsmouth and Birmingham; statisticians can not perform miracles.

Acc of the week:

Aston Villa, Middlesbrough, West Ham, Liverpool and Man Utd form a delightful little weekend accer; it’ll pay 14/1.


Weekend Betting:


West Brom v Chelsea Saturday 4th March 12.45 Live on Premiership Plus

West Brom 11/2
Draw 3/1
Chelsea 2/5

Get on: Chelsea

The Baggies have met Chelsea on five occasions in the Premiership, Chelsea have won every time. The Albion have been walloped in their last two matches, 2/5 looks generous.
Match Special:
Chelsea to win 2-0 11/2

Aston Villa v Portsmouth Saturday 4th March 15.00

Aston Villa 8/11
Draw 9/4
Portsmouth 10/3

Get on: Aston Villa

Pompey struggle at Villa Park, they’ve took a beating on their last eight visits. They’ve also lost on their last eight road trips in the league, there’s literally no hope for them.
Match Special:
Villa to keep a clean sheet 6/5

Fulham v Arsenal Saturday 4th March 15.00

Fulham 7/4
Draw 9/4
Arsenal 5/4

Get on: Fulham

Fulham have won eight of their last nine league matches at the Cottage, they drew the other. Arsenal have only won three times away from home in the league all season.
Match Special:
Fulham to win 1-0 7/1

Middlesbrough v Birmingham Saturday 4th March 15.00

Middlesbrough 10/11
Draw 9/4
Birmingham 5/2

Get on: Middlesbrough

The Boro have won five of their last six matches, while a 1-0 win over Sunderland hardly represents a return to form for Birmingham.
Match Special:
Hasselbaink and Yakubu both to score 13/2

Newcastle v Bolton Saturday 4th March 15.00

Newcastle 6/5
Draw 9/4
Bolton 9/5

Get on: Draw

It’s four wins and a draw from the Toon’s last five games. Bolton are a tough nut to crack though, as their 1-1 draw at Highbury underlines.
Match Special:
No goal scorer in the match 8/1

West Ham v Everton Saturday 4th March 15.00

West Ham Evs
Draw 9/4
Everton 9/4

Get on: West Ham

The Hammers have won seven of their last eight matches; the other was drawn at the Reebok. Everton have lost their last two away from home, it all adds up to a home win.
Match Special:
Ashton to score the first goal 9/2

Liverpool v Charlton Saturday 4th March 17.15 Live on Premiership Plus

Liverpool 4/9
Draw 13/5
Charlton 6/1

Get on: Liverpool

Liverpool have won five of their last six at Anfield by a goal to nil. It would have been six from six but for an Alonso own goal. Charlton haven’t won a league match away from home since October.
Match Special:
Liverpool to win 1-0 6/1

Man City v Sunderland Sunday 5th March 13.30 Live on Sky

Man City 2/5
Draw 11/4
Sunderland 13/2

Get on: Man City

City have won their last five in front of their own fans; Sunderland are atrocious.
Match Special:
City to score four or more goals 4/1

Tottenham v Blackburn Sunday 5th March 16.00 Live on Sky

Tottenham 5/6
Draw 9/4
Blackburn 11/4

Get on: Blackburn

A surprisingly quiet fixture recently, the last five games has produced a total of three goals. Spurs are feeling the pressure recently; it’s only one win in seven. Blackburn have won their last two, it could be a shock.
Match Special:
Bellamy to score the only goal of the game 50/1

Wigan v Man Utd Monday 6th March 20.00 Live on Sky

Wigan 7/2
Draw 13/5
Man Utd 8/13

Get on: Man Utd

It’s now seven without a win for Wigan. United won 4-0 in the league and matched that scoreline in a one-sided Cup final. Home advantage will make all the difference for the Latics; United will only win by three.
Match Special:
Man United to win 3-0 10/1

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A Very Merry Gerry

As long as man walks the earth, the battle between the old wrinkly master and the young brash pretender to the throne is as inevitable as tomato sauce on a sausage sandwich.

Stuart Pearce v Alex Ferguson fits perfectly in this category. He may be a considered a psycho, but you can’t argue with eight Premier League trophies. Pearce is the up and comer while Sir Alex has been there, done that and banned the t-shirt. Pearce’s time will come, but for now, the old guard retains the edge. United are 4/6 to master the Manchester melee; get on.

Now that Roy Keane has left the country, the Manchester derby just won’t be the same without a career threatening challenge or two. David Sommeil misses the match due to Essiening a Tottenham player, so we’ll have to rely on Alan Smith and Joey Barton to remain true to the memory of the departed Keano. A player to be sent off is a 5/2 shot.

Graeme Souness threw all his eggs in one basket when he signed Michael Owen, there’s a moral there somewhere; buy more baskets. Here’s another moral for you; back Newcastle without Owen? A fool and his money are Soun parted. Fulham receive the nod at 5/4.

What Alan Shearer lacks in pace, he makes up for in elbow piece. If we accept that Newcastle will lose the match, backing Shearer to be booked is a logical follow up. Big Al is more likely to connect with a jaw bone than a cross; he’s 4/1 to see yellow, 50/1 to see red.

The arrival of a Russian billionaire has allowed Harry Redknapp to buy himself a big Pole; Emmanuel Olisadebe. I saw Emmanuel on video a few years ago, a fantastic scoring record. Portsmouth v Everton is a relegation six pointer, back Pompey to take all six points at 11/10.

Clyde were 20/1 to beat Celtic, Leyton Orient were 8/1 to beat Fulham, both won easily. Sunderland are 11/1 rags at home to Chelsea; can they make it a treble of upsets? No. Conventional wisdom would suggest that you can’t back a Premier League team away to another at 1/5. I repeatedly slap the bald head of conventional wisdom; Chelsea have the points in the bag.

If Ian Wright was Thierry Henry, he’d have to consider leaving Arsenal. If I was Mr Henry, I wouldn’t have time to consider a move abroad; I’d be too busy getting Merry. Take 2/7 on the Gunners beating the Boro, it’s a step on the road to happiness.

The weekend specials revolve around the Manchester derby.

“Cole industry” – Andy Cole to score at any time 15/8
“Rio, the Jan Hero” – Rio Ferdinand to score at any time 7/1
“Do the Bart man” – Joey Barton to be booked 7/4
“I, Van the terrible” – Van Nistelrooy not to score 8/11

Quote of the week:

“The pitch wasn’t the best, but I’m not gonna make excuses.”
Steve Bruce after Birmingham were outplayed by Torquay.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

Sunderland’s recent home record to Chelsea makes interesting reading: the last seven matches have produced a Chelsea win, a draw and five victories for the Mackems.

Acc of the week:

Man Utd, Aston Villa, Charlton, Fulham and Liverpool are the pick of the Premiership action; the accer pays 22/1.

Weekend Betting:

Man City v Man Utd Saturday 14th January 12.45 Live on Sky

Man City 7/2
Draw 12/5
Man Utd 4/6

Get on: Man Utd

It’s three league matches without scoring a goal for City, United are the Premiership’s top scorers on the road. A comfortable away win.
Match Special:
Van Nistelrooy to score two or more goals 4/1

Arsenal v Middlesbrough Saturday 14th January 15.00

Arsenal 2/7
Draw 7/2
Middlesbrough 8/1

Get on: Arsenal

Boro led 3-1 at Highbury last season, and still got spanked. McClaren’s men haven’t won a league match since November. Home banker.
Match Special:
Henry to score a hat-trick 12/1

Aston Villa v West Ham Saturday 14th January 15.00

Aston Villa 10/11
Draw 9/4
West Ham 5/2

Get on: Aston Villa

The Hammers last won at Villa Park in 1995. O’Leary’s men are finally finding their stride; they’ll avenge a 4-0 beating earlier in the season.
Match Special:
Mellberg to score with a header 20/1

Charlton v Birmingham Saturday 14th January 15.00

Charlton 10/11
Draw 11/5
Birmingham 13/5

Get on: Charlton

The Blues have only scored one goal away from home since November, a consolation in a 4-1 bashing at Manchester City. Darren Bent scored the only goal of the game at St Andrew’s earlier in the season, a repeat is a possibility.
Match Special:
Darren Bent to score the only goal of the game 25/1

Fulham v Newcastle Saturday 14th January 15.00

Fulham 5/4
Draw 9/4
Newcastle 7/4

Get on: Fulham

Fulham have been impressive at home in the league recently, five wins and a draw from their last six matches. The Toon Army have only scored in one of their last six matches away from home. Enough said.
Match Special:
Fulham to score three or more goals 9/2

Liverpool v Tottenham Saturday 14th January 15.00

Liverpool 8/11
Draw 9/4
Tottenham 10/3

Get on: Liverpool

Liverpool have won eight out of ten at home this season, only Chelsea and Man Utd left Anfield with more than a beating. Spurs have recently been beaten at the Hawthorns and the Walkers stadium. Home win.
Match Special:
A Liverpool player to score from inside their own half 200/1

Portsmouth v Everton Saturday 14th January 15.00

Portsmouth 11/10
Draw 9/4
Everton 2/1

Get on: Portsmouth

It’s seven points out of nine at Fratton Park for Portsmouth since the return of Mr Redknapp. Pompey have only scored eight goals at home this season though, a Premiership low. 1-0 to Harry’s mob.
Match Special:
Portsmouth to win 1-0 6/1

Blackburn v Bolton Saturday 14th January 17.15 Live on Premiership Plus

Blackburn 5/4
Draw 2/1
Bolton 2/1

Get on: Draw

A strange meet up on the Premiership, they’ve met nine times and the home team has never won. The last three meets between the two has produced a total of two goals. A goalless draw is the only conclusion.
Match Special:
No Goalscorer in the match 13/2

Wigan v West Brom Sunday 15th January 13.30 Live on Sky

Wigan 8/11
Draw 9/4
West Brom 10/3

Get on: Wigan

The Latics squad is down to the bare bones, but they still look a stronger team than the Albion. The Baggies have not won on the road all season and they haven’t scored away since November. It has to be a home win.
Match Special:
Jason Roberts to score the first goal 9/2

Sunderland v Chelsea Sunday 15th January 16.00 Live on Sky

Sunderland 11/1
Draw 4/1
Chelsea 1/5

Get on: Chelsea

The gulf in class could not be wider. Sunderland have only won once in the league this season, Chelsea have only lost once. The Mackems haven’t scored a home goal in the league for 360 minutes; only Man U have kept a visiting Chelsea team off the score-sheet. A virtually risk free away win.
Match Special:
Crespo to score a hat-trick 12/1

The Gazza Strip

The Gazza Strip

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all parties and yachts when you’re a Premiership footballer. At this time of year, most players will face up to four matches in seven days, a schedule so tough, Wayne Rooney will be up and down the motorway living off cold turkey sandwiches. He refuses to moan though, he enjoys an old bird. Man U are unbeaten in nine matches in the league, they’re a must bet at 4/11 at home to Bolton.

Cristiano Ronaldo is worth a little bet to open the scoring. The Portuguese wonder-boy has had a disappointing season; he’s been on a bench more often than Paul Gascoigne. The undisputed King of the unnecessary step-over is back in the starting 11; a return to form is imminent. He’s 9/1 to score the first goal and 5/2 to score at any time.

After going 93 matches for Man U without scoring, Rio Ferdinand has now bagged two in five games, a record that James Beattie can only dream about. Rio’s a 10/1 shot to make that record three in six, stranger things have happened.

It’s not just turkeys that get stuffed over Christmas. David Moyes is in the middle of the most embarrassing run since Paula Radcliffe relieved herself during the London marathon. Everton face a Sunderland team who have just had their best result of the season; their midweek match was called off. Get on the Mackems at 13/8.

Peter Crouch shoved Lee Bowyer to the ground on Boxing Day, an act that would normally receive a red card and a three match ban. The lanky striker can consider himself fortunate to be available for selection against West Brom; he’s not very good at football. Stevie Gerrard is back to his sublime best for the Pool, he’s a 13/8 shot to find the back of the net against Albion. Liverpool are good things at 1/4.

Steve Bruce didn’t endear himself to the Birmingham supporters when he waved to Manchester United fans as the Blues lost heavily in the Cup. If Bruce’s familiarity with opposition supporters is in relation to how badly they get beat, he might end up crowd surfing with the Chelsea fans. Chelsea are a 1/6 certainty.

It’s been widely reported that Graeme Souness wants Alan Shearer to stay on for another season, he probably will; as manager. Souness may have settled the dressing-room squabbling, but he can’t find a cure for their away day blues. The Geordies travel to White Hart Lane; Spurs get the nod at 4/6.

Milan Baros proved to be tasty with his hands against Everton, the Villa could do with a 2nd keeper when the Arsenal come to town. The Gunners are 4/6; they’re home, and almost certainly, hosed.

The weekend specials:

“Cold Turkey” – Emre to be booked 5/2
“Stuffed” – Thierry Henry to score a hat-trick 16/1
“Take the tree down” – Peter Crouch to be booked 3/1
“Hog many” – Wayne Rooney to score a hat-trick 14/1

Quote of the week:

“I’m not sure it was a straight red, maybe a yellow would have been more sensible.”

Steven Gerrard, the day after he ran across the pitch to confront Alan Shearer and Lee Bowyer, pressurising the referee into showing Bowyer a straight red.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

Only Van Nistelrooy and Rooney have scored more league goals for Man Utd than Rio Ferdinand this season.

Acc of the week:

Arsenal, West Ham, Tottenham, Man Utd and Man City make up the weekend accer, it pays out at a tasty 27/1.

Weekend Betting:

Aston Villa v Arsenal Saturday 31st December 12.45 Live on Sky

Aston Villa 7/2
Draw 12/5
Arsenal 4/6

Get on: Arsenal

Arsenal have won their last four matches against the Villa by two clear goals with Thierry Henry scoring in every match. Say no more.
Match Special:
Arsenal to win by two or more goals 13/8

Charlton v West Ham Saturday 31st December 13.00

Charlton 5/4
Draw 9/4
West Ham 7/4

Get on: West Ham

Charlton have lost eight out of their last nine matches, it has to be the Hammers.
Match Special:
Marlon Harewood to score two or more goals 8/1

Chelsea v Birmingham Saturday 31st December 13.00

Chelsea 1/6
Draw 9/2
Birmingham 12/1

Get on: Chelsea

Chelsea have a 100% record at home in the league, Birmingham are the 2nd worst team in the Premiership. Tough call.
Match Special:
Chelsea to win 3-0 13/2

Tottenham v Newcastle Saturday 31st December 13.00

Tottenham 4/6
Draw 12/5
Newcastle 7/2

Get on: Tottenham

Spurs haven’t tasted defeat at the Lane since August; the Toon Army have lost four of their last five matches away from home. Home win.
Match Special:
Tottenham to keep a clean sheet 6/5

Liverpool v West Brom Saturday 31st December 15.00

Liverpool 1/4
Draw 7/2
West Brom 10/1

Get on: Liverpool

The Pool have met Albion four times in the Premiership, the aggregate score? 16-0. Liverpool are aiming for their 10th straight league win, they’re gonna get it.
Match Special:
Liverpool to win 2-0 11/2

Man Utd v Bolton Saturday 31st December 15.00

Man Utd 4/11
Draw 3/1
Bolton 13/2

Get on: Man Utd

It’s seven wins and two draws from their last nine league matches for Man U, Bolton have failed to score in their last two matches away from home. Definite home win.
Match Special:
Van Nistelrooy and Rooney both to score 4/1

Middlesbrough v Man City Saturday 31st December 15.00

Middlesbrough 5/4
Draw 9/4
Man City 7/4

Get on: Man City

Only Sunderland have conceded more goals in front of their own fans than the Boro, only Man U and Chelsea have scored more goals away from home than Man City. Stuart Pearce gave the City players Christmas day off, proving he’s more of a pussycat than a psycho. Away win.
Match Special:
Andy Cole to score two or more goals 8/1

Portsmouth v Fulham Saturday 31st December 15.00

Portsmouth 6/5
Draw 11/5
Fulham 15/8

Get on: Draw

Pompey were absolutely murdered at Highbury in midweek. Fulham haven’t won away from home all season, it’s a draw.
Match Special:
Match to finish 1-1 11/2

Sunderland v Everton Saturday 31st December 15.00

Sunderland 13/8
Draw 11/5
Everton 11/8

Get on: Sunderland

Sunderland have won four of their five previous Premiership matches at home to Everton. The Moyes Boys have conceded 11 goals in three matches; the Mackems will never have a better chance.
Match Special:
Sunderland to win 1-0 7/1

Wigan v Blackburn Saturday 31st December 15.00

Wigan 6/5
Draw 11/5
Blackburn 15/8

Get on: Draw

Wigan have won their last four at home; Blackburn have won three of their last four on the road. Score draw.
Match Special:
Match to finish 2-2 14/1

The Wenger Boys vs. Michael Hackson

Jose Mourinho is like Marmite, his adverts are very annoying. Arsene Wenger is certainly not a lover of the special one, he threatened to sue Jose for an outrageous ‘voyeur’ slur earlier in the year, Mourinho retaliated by threatening to whip out his dossier. With clear animosity between the managers, Arsenal v Chelsea is a potential cracker.

Over the last few weeks, Arsenal have shown that they lack the necessary mental fortitude to compete effectively when the opposition are aggressive in the tackle, or to put it another way, they don’t like it up ‘em. The soft belly of the Gunners will face the ultimate test when they go head to head with Chelsea playmaker and part-time kneecap collector Michael Essien. Tough tackling will win it for Chelsea, an 11/8 steal.

Elsewhere on the coupon, Blackburn look a sound investment at 15/8 to take all three points from the Cottage. Fulham are in danger of dropping into the relegation shake-up, Robbie Savage is in danger of just being dropped.

The hairy Welshman has always excelled at winding up fellow professionals, but until last weekend it was only opposition players on the verge of laying him out. The only surprising element of ‘Caravangate’ was that Robbie didn’t roll on the floor to try and get his goal-keeper sent off. The always popular Savage is a 20/1 shot to receive a long overdue red card against Fulham; it’s 6/4 he goes in the book.

Alex Ferguson petulantly walked out of a press conference this week, adding fuel to the rumour that this will be his last season in the Old Trafford hot seat. I’d like to suggest David Blunkett as a potential replacement; he can hold a lead in Europe. United destroyed Wigan in midweek, they’re 8/11 against a Villa team without Mellberg and with Ridgewell. Fill your winter boots.

It’s ironic that in the week that the name Thatcher was back in the news, a Cole-man was sent off. Andy’s dismissal means that Darius Vassell leads the line for Man City against Birmingham, the ex Villan is worth an interest at 5/1 to open the scoring. Manchester City have been up and down like Peter Crouch in a house with reasonably sized door frames recently, but are a confident selection at 8/11.

Harry Redknapp claims he wouldn’t know how to place a bet online, I’ve glanced at a few of his betting previews, he’s a lucky man. Some believe that Harry’s magic will save Pompey from the drop, unless they’re referring to Harry Potter, I’d have to disagree. The in form Baggies should be backed at 2/1.

The weekend specials may ring a bell.

“Va Va Voom” – Thierry Henry to score two or more goals 6/1
“Nick Cole” – Joe Cole to be booked 7/4
“Papa” – Boupa Diop to score with a header 10/1
“The cream of Manchester” – United to score more than City 13/10
“They're tasty, tasty, very very tasty” – Blackburn to have a player sent off 6/1
“Once you pop, you can’t stop” – Essien to be sent off 25/1

Quote of the week:

“They all think Wayne’s this big fat person who eats burgers every day, which he’s not, and I don’t know where they get it from. It really does my head in because people really believe that. His favourite food is lettuce. He errrrr, loves salad.”

Coleen McLoughlin spills the peas.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

The last time Manchester United kept a clean sheet away from home was……September.

Acc of the week:

Man Utd, Man City, Chelsea and a Middlesbrough draw make up the weekend accer, it pays over 20/1.

Weekend Betting:

Aston Villa v Man Utd Saturday 17th December 12.45 Live on Premiership Plus

Aston Villa 10/3
Draw 9/4
Man Utd 8/11

Get on: Man Utd

United in crisis? They’ve won five of their last six matches in the league, the other was a draw. Away banker.
Match Special:
Van Nistelrooy to score a hat-trick 16/1

Everton v Bolton Saturday 17th December 15.00

Everton 6/5
Draw 9/4
Bolton 9/5

Get on: Everton

Everton are the undisputed Kings of the 1-0, they’ve bagged five already, here comes number six.
Match Special:
Everton to win 1-0 6/1

Fulham v Blackburn Saturday 17th December 15.00

Fulham 6/5
Draw 11/5
Blackburn 15/8

Get on: Blackburn

Blackburn have won on their last three visits to the Cottage, scoring 10 goals in the process. 15/8 appeals.
Match Special:
Paul Dickov to score two or more goals 10/1

Portsmouth v West Brom Saturday 17th December 15.00

Portsmouth 11/10
Draw 9/4
West Brom 2/1

Get on: West Brom
It’s five straight defeats for Portsmouth, the Albion are undefeated in four. The Baggies have won six of their last seven matches against Pompey, it’s an away win.
Match Special:
Kanu to score at any time 9/4

West Ham v Newcastle Saturday 17th December 15.00

West Ham 11/8
Draw 11/5
Newcastle 13/8

Get on: West Ham

The Toon Army struggle at Upton Park, in their last five visits, they’ve earned one point. Man Utd are the only team to take three points off the Hammers at Upton Park since August. Home win.
Match Special:
Harewood and Zamora both to score 10/1

Wigan v Charlton Saturday 17th December 15.00

Wigan 6/5
Draw 9/4
Charlton 9/5

Get on: Charlton

With both teams struggling for form, Charlton get a tentative nod. Darren Bent scored the winner against Wigan when on fire earlier in the season, he’s heating up again.
Match Special:
Darren Bent to score the only goal of the game 33/1

Man City v Birmingham Saturday 17th December 17.15 Live on Premiership Plus

Man City 8/11
Draw 9/4
Birmingham 10/3

Get on: Man City

Psycho’s men haven’t scored at home since Halloween, a frightening statistic. It won’t be a thriller.
Match Special:
Man City to win 1-0 6/1

Middlesbrough v Tottenham Sunday 18th December 13.30 Live on Sky

Middlesbrough 6/4
Draw 11/5
Tottenham 6/4

Get on: Draw

Spurs don’t like it by the Riverside; they have to go back to 1996 to find a winning trip. Boro are gaining consistency, from their last six matches at home, they’ve won four and drawn two. Spurs are also in good nick, they’ve scored eight goals in their last three games. It’s a draw.
Match Special:
Match to finish 2-2 14/1

Arsenal v Chelsea Sunday 18th December 16.00 Live on Sky

Arsenal 13/8
Draw 11/5
Chelsea 11/8

Get on: Chelsea

It’s nearly 15 years since Chelsea won a league match at Highbury. That long wait is nearly over.
Match Special:
Chelsea to keep a clean sheet 7/4

Science is Goalden.

The definition of happiness is spending time with the one you love; for me, that’s the television. Having accidentally flicked on to a science channel, I was intrigued by the following question, “What came first, the chicken or the egg?”

Armed with just Wayne Rooney, an egg, a 20 year old brunette from Manchester and a nightclub kitchen, I conducted an experiment that could easily land me a Nobel Prize.

Given only six minutes and 22 seconds in the controlled environment, Rooney completely ignored the opportunity to enjoy a nice boiled egg; instead, the game bird received his full attention.

Is Wayne Rooney a metaphor for life itself? I’ll let you be the judge. Are Man Utd a good bet to beat West Ham at 8/13? Undoubtedly. Sir Alex has neutered, sorry nurtured young Rooney along wonderfully; the big lad is available at 20/1 to score another three times.

Rio Ferdinand will play against his brother in a competitive match for the first time, there’s a 62% chance of Rio ending up with the bragging-rights; that’s almost two Ferds.

Alan Pardew suggested that Anton Ferdinand should change his hairstyle to differentiate himself from his brother. I’d like to suggest the Kevin Keegan style from the 70’s, as my Grandma used to say after senility kicked in, ‘The surly Ferd matches the perm’. You can back either brother to score at 11/2, both brothers finding the net is a 150/1 shot.

Arsenal meet Blackburn for the first time since last seasons FA Cup semi-final, where Robin Van Persie and Andy Todd’s elbow were so close, they’re now exchanging Christmas presents. Blackburn attempted to kick Arsenal off the pitch that day, another tasty encounter could be on the cards. You can back a player to be sent off at 3/1.

Thierry Henry is in a rich vein of form at Highbury, the majestic Frenchman has netted 15 goals in his last 10 games. He’s 12/1 to net a hat-trick against Blackburn, and that’s not the worst punt in the World; Portsmouth to beat Chelsea is.

Chelsea’s mini blip was over before it really began; Pompey haven’t won at home this season and Chelsea have never lost a league match outside Manchester under Mourinho. Chelsea are a great bet to hack up, it’s as easy as 1/3.

You can question the goal scoring ability of Liverpool’s Peter Crouch, but he’s undeniably a true gentleman. Even football commentators address him as Mr. Crouch; although they often use his pseudonyms, Mr. Penalty and Mr. Nother-Sitter. Liverpool have won their last three league matches, scoring 10 goals without reply. The ‘Pool are 6/4 to beat Man City; meet the weekend nap.

The West Ham v Man U match provides the inspiration for the weekend specials.

“Over Keane” – Alan Smith and Darren Fletcher both to score 20/1
“Beni, ill” – Yossi Benayoun to be booked 3/1
“Hammer House of Horror” – Rooney and Van Nistelrooy both to score 9/2
“Woody Alan” – Marlon Harewood and Alan Smith both to score 12/1
“Paul a fast one” – Scholes to score in the first half 9/1
“A vintage Sheri” – Teddy Sheringham to score two or more goals 12/1

Quote of the week:

“Pressure? Pressure is being a parent and having no money to feed your children. There is no pressure in football.”

Jose Mourinho should save that one for Alex McLeish and Alain Perrin.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

West Ham have only scored a 1st half goal in one game this season.

Stat’s not so surprising

The team who have committed the most fouls in the Premiership is…….Blackburn.

Acc of the week:

Aston Villa
Liverpool
Chelsea
Middlesbrough
Man Utd

The five-fold will pay over 20/1 when successful.

Weekend Betting:

Arsenal v Blackburn Saturday 26th November 15.00

Arsenal 1/4
Draw 7/2
Blackburn 10/1

Get on: Arsenal

Arsenal have won every match they’ve played at Highbury this season and they’ve won their last five matches against Blackburn without conceding a goal. ‘Nailed on’ springs to mind.
Match Special:
Blackburn to have a player sent off 6/1

Aston Villa v Charlton Saturday 26th November 15.00

Aston Villa 11/8
Draw 11/5
Charlton 13/8

Get on: Aston Villa

Villa’s win at the Stadium of Light could well kick-start their season, Phillips and Baros are warm; home win.
Match Special:
Phillips and Baros both to score 7/1

Man City v Liverpool Saturday 26th November 15.00

Man City 6/4
Draw 11/5
Liverpool 6/4

Get on: Liverpool

Liverpool head to Manchester full of confidence, they’ve finally found their scoring touch and they’re incredibly tight at the back. 6/4? Yes please.
Match Special:
Cisse to score the only goal of the game 33/1

Sunderland v Birmingham Saturday 26th November 15.00

Sunderland 6/4
Draw 11/5
Birmingham 6/4

Get on: Birmingham

The Mackems have conceded three or more goals in their last six matches; with a defence that leaky, even the goal-shy Blues should take advantage. Sunderland have never scored against Birmingham in the Premiership; away win.
Match Special:
Emile Heskey to score at any time 11/8

Wigan v Tottenham Saturday 26th November 15.00

Wigan 7/4
Draw 9/4
Tottenham 5/4

Get on: Wigan

Wigan should score, only Chelsea have kept a clean sheet against the Latics this season. Defoe was dropped like a hot potato last week, Spurs may draw a blank.
Match Special:
Wigan to win 1-0 7/1

Portsmouth v Chelsea Saturday 26th November 17.15 Live on Premiership Plus

Portsmouth 13/2
Draw 10/3
Chelsea 1/3

Get on: Chelsea

Chelsea have thrashed Pompey recently, winning by two or more goals in their last four meetings. Portsmouth need a miracle.
Match Special:
Chelsea to win 2-0 11/2

Everton v Newcastle Sunday 27th November 13.30 Live on Sky

Everton 6/4
Draw 11/5
Newcastle 6/4

Get on: Draw

This one should be tight. Everton have scored against Newcastle in their last 11 meetings; with Owen and Shearer back, the Geordies should also find the back of the net. 11 of Everton’s last 12 league matches have produced 2 goals or less. 1-1 it is then.
Match Special:
Match to finish 1-1 11/2

Fulham v Bolton Sunday 27th November 14.00

Fulham 6/4
Draw 11/5
Bolton 6/4

Get on: Fulham

Every tine Bolton have travelled to the Cottage in the Premiership, they’ve took a beating. Malbranque and Diop are looking sharp; home win.
Match Special:
Malbranque to score at any time 11/4


Middlesbrough v West Brom Sunday 27th November 15.00

Middlesbrough 8/11
Draw 9/4
West Brom 10/3

Get on: Middlesbrough

West Brom have only scored one league goal away from home this season. Historically, they’ve not won in Middlesbrough since 1952 and they’ve conceded 16 goals on their last six trips. A shoeing awaits.
Match Special:
Middlesbrough to win by two or more goals 7/4


West Ham v Man Utd Sunday 27th November 16.00 Live on Sky

West Ham 4/1
Draw 12/5
Man Utd 8/13

Get on: Man Utd

Man U have scored goals for fun against West Ham in recent seasons, 35 goals in 11 games. United are the top goal scorers away from home in the Premiership; away win.
Match Special:
Rooney to score two or more goals 9/2

Becks, Rugs and Rock and Roll

We’ve all heard the expression, ‘It could be a war out there’, when Argentina play England at football; it’s not a cliché, it’s a valid prediction.

Tension between the two countries began to surface in 1982, when an argument broke out over the Wolves and Ipswich defender, Mel Venus.

The hostility increased at the World Cup of 1998, where in a moment of madness, David Beckham made a decision that upset the whole of England; he agreed to marry Victoria Adams.

Also in ’98, Beckham was sent off for kicking Diego Simeone, but fate allowed Beckham to partially redeem himself four years later, as his penalty effectively sent the Argies home from the 2002 World Cup.

David Beckham and his wife normally shy away from the spotlight, but he’s always at the centre of attention when England face Argentina; you can back Beckham to score the only goal of the game at 55/1.

In a somewhat surprising move, Sven has recalled David ‘Calamity’ James and Peter Crouch to the squad for the Argentina match; hopefully he’ll play James up front and Crouch in goal.

Admittedly, I’m not a football manager, I’m a gambling guru; but if I had to pick an England team, I wouldn’t touch Crouch with a barge-pole, in fact, I’d rather play the barge-pole. For all you believers, Crouch is a 9/1 shot to score the last goal.

One of my South American contacts has advised me to back Placente to score the first goal for the Argies at 50/1, but I’ve found that somewhat hard to swallow. I’ll be on the draw at 15/8.

The Americans are marching towards Scotland, and somewhat surprisingly, it’s not related to North Sea oil. According to FIFA, the Yanks are the 7th strongest team in the World, which is absolutely ridiculous; it’s the biggest joke in International football since Robbie Savage. Don’t fall for FIFA’s rug-pulling, Scotland are terrific value at 7/5.

France v Germany is an interesting match. Both countries dislike America; I wish they could both win. With Thierry Henry firing on all cylinders, France are the call at 5/6.

The following specials are all available at Super Soccer.

“Oil be back” – The USA to win from behind 11/1
“Argy bargy” – Argentina to have a player sent off 8/1
“Turk up like a kipper” – Hakan Sukur to score with a header 8/1
“The Italian Job” – Italy to score three or more goals 7/1
“Rocking Robin” – Van Persie to score two or more goals 9/1
“A Swiss Roll” – Switzerland to score three or more goals 11/2
“Lord of the Fries” – Thierry Henry to score a hat-trick 16/1
“Throw the towel in” – Germany to have a player sent off 11/1

Quote of the week:

“He is very special, and I would like to have him in the World Cup squad.”

Sven Goran Eriksson should have spent more money on English lessons, Peter Crouch is the subject.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

Wayne ‘Rucker’ Rooney may be considered the best thing since canned lager, but his contribution to World Cup qualification was minimal. Rooney hasn’t scored a competitive goal for England since Euro 2004.

Acc of the week:

Scotland
Holland
France
Spain
Uruguay

The five-fold pays a juicy 18/1.

Weekend Betting:

Scotland v USA International Friendly Saturday 12th November 16.00 Live on Sky

Scotland 7/5
Draw 11/5
USA 6/4

Get on: Scotland

Here’s a sentence you rarely see, Scotland are value to win a football match.
Match Special:
Scotland to keep a clean sheet 6/4

Argentina v England International Friendly Saturday 12th November 16.45 Live on BBC

Argentina 7/5
Draw 15/8
England 7/4

Get on: Draw

This is why bookmakers all drive Ferraris. Any result is possible, except the one that I back. I’m losing my money on the draw.
Match Special:
Lampard to score a penalty 7/1

Holland v Italy International Friendly Saturday 12th November 19.45 Live on Bravo

Holland 6/5
Draw 2/1
Italy 2/1

Get on: Holland

The future’s bright, the future’s orange. 6/5 for the Dutch is a corking investment.
Match Special:
Van Nistelrooy and Van Persie both to score 8/1

France v Germany International Friendly Saturday 12th November 20.00 Live on Eurosport

France 5/6
Draw 9/4
Germany 13/5

Get on: France

The French have quality throughout their team. The Germans have Michael Ballack.
Match Special:
Henry and Trezeguet both to score 5/1

Norway v Czech Rep World Cup Qualifying play-off 1st Leg Saturday 12th November 18.30

Norway 2/1
Draw 2/1
Czech Rep 5/4

Get on: Czech Rep

The Czech’s were unlucky to draw Holland in their qualifying group. Will the Czech Republic lose? Nor way.
Match Special:
Milan Baros to score at any time 6/4

Switzerland v Turkey World Cup Qualifying play-off 1st Leg Saturday 12th November 19.45 Live on Setanta

Switzerland 6/4
Draw 15/8
Turkey 7/4

Get on: Switzerland

The Swiss will get the result they need at home, but the 2nd leg in Turkey will be no picnic.
Match Special:
Frei to score with a header 7/1

Spain v Slovakia World Cup Qualifying play-off 1st Leg Saturday 12th November 21.00

Spain 1/4
Draw 7/2
Slovakia 10/1

Get on: Spain

The Spanish were rubbing their hands after the draw, they can afford to take a little siesta and still win the match.
Match Special:
Raul to score two or more goals 7/2

Uruguay v Australia World Cup Qualifying play-off 1st Leg Saturday 12th November 23.00

Uruguay 4/7
Draw 9/4
Australia 5/1

Get on: Uruguay
The Uruguayan coach will play videos of neighbours in the dressing room pre-match to get the players nicely wound up. Uruguay beat Argentina at home, and drew with Brazil home and away; the Aussies are if for a mullering.
Match Special:
Uruguay to score in both halves 6/4

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