Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Confetti, Spaghetti and an Inebriated Sweaty

With the possible exception of playing Scotland in a football match, nothing in life is easy.

After only three weeks of profitable football betting, the Premiership has to make way for its less attractive sibling, the International.

Luckily, Wales v England and Scotland v Italy both appear to be no-brainers, so what we lose in entertainment value, the reward of an 11/10 double on the away teams will provide adequate compensation.

Admittedly, the bookies cleaned up in England’s last match; betting slips were thrown like confetti as Denmark put four past a hapless English defence, but don’t read too much into that display, Sven treats friendlies like Wayne Rooney treats salad.

Speaking of Mr Rooney, the bulky striker looks a great bet to open the scoring. He was the only player to emerge with credit from the Danish pasting, and should be backed at 4/1 against a leaky Welsh defence.

John Terry will miss the match through injury, meaning Jamie Carragher has the dubious honour of looking after ‘Big Bad John’ Hartson. You can back the mad Welshman to be sent off at 25/1 while an English clean sheet is available at 4/6.

In order to solve the conundrum that is Scotland v Italy, I have concluded the following; in order for the Italians to take all three points, they will have to follow the correct directions to the stadium.

FIFA’s World rankings show that Scotland are still languishing behind Guatemala, Oman, Qatar, Mali and the mighty Democratic Republic of Congo; the closest the Scottish back four will come to an Italian is if they nip off for a spaghetti dinner after the match.

If Scotland were able to nick three points off the Azzurri, there would be more drunken Scotchmen on the streets of Glasgow than you would find on an average Hogmanay, but only the most optimistic/intoxicated of the tartan army will be taking the 5/1.

The lack of Premiership action hasn’t stopped the flow of the weekend specials, these beauties are all available at Super Soccer.

“Enter the Dragon” – John Hartson to score two or more goals 12/1
“Take a leek” – Wales to have a player sent off 7/1
“A bit sheepish” – Wales not to score 4/6
“Choir boys” – No Welsh player to be booked 11/2
“Taffy, Duck” – John Hartson to score with a header 8/1

“The Fab Four” – England to score four or more goals 9/2
“The Rolling Stones” – Rooney to be booked for diving 50/1
“Born Mouth” – Rooney to be booked for dissent 7/1
“Eton” – Rooney to score two or more goals 9/2
“The Oval” – Rooney to score a hat–trick 16/1

“No Sweat” – Scotland not to score 4/5
“Head Loch” – Kenny Miller to score with a header 10/1
“Have the crack” – Scotland to score two or more goals 4/1
“Happy Ness” – Scotland to score three or more goals 14/1
“Audley Haggison” – Scotland to have a player sent off 9/1

“Have a Pizza that” – Italy to score four or more goals 6/1
“Christian, door” – Vieri to be sent off 33/1
“Aless in Wonderland” – Del Piero to score two or more goals 11/2
“Roman, Off” – Italy to have a player sent off 12/1
“Pasta Joke” – Italy not to score 11/4

Quote of the week:

“It will be great to work for, erm, with Alan Shearer.”
Michael ‘Why aye man’ Owen’s Freudian slip.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

Wales are yet to win a game or even keep a clean sheet in a qualifying group that includes Northern Ireland and Azerbaijan.

Acc of the week:

England
Italy
Switzerland
Czech Republic
Norway

The five fold pays over 20/1


Weekend Betting:

Wales v England Saturday 3rd September 15.00 Live on Sky

Wales 7/1
Draw 13/5
England 2/5

Match Special:
Defoe and Rooney both to score 9/2

Scotland v Italy Saturday 3rd September 17.30 Live on Sky

Scotland 5/1
Draw 12/5
Italy 1/2

Match Special:
Vieri to score a hat-trick 20/1

Monday, August 29, 2005

England Squad

England squad for the upcoming World Cup qualifiers away to Wales and Northern Ireland on Saturday September 3 and Wednesday September 7.

Goalkeepers

Robert Green (Norwich)
Chris Kirkland (Liverpool)
Paul Robinson (Tottenham)

Defenders

Jamie Carragher (Liverpool)
Ashley Cole (Arsenal)
Rio Ferdinand (Man Utd)
Phil Neville (Everton)
John Terry (Chelsea)
Matthew Upson (Birmingham)
Stephen Warnock (Liverpool)
Luke Young (Charlton)

Midfielders

David Beckham (Real Madrid)
Michael Carrick (Tottenham)
Joe Cole (Chelsea)
Steven Gerrard (Liverpool)
Owen Hargreaves (Bayern Munich)
Jermaine Jenas (Newcastle)
Frank Lampard (Chelsea)
Kieran Richardson (Man Utd)
Shaun Wright-Phillips (Chelsea)

Forwards

Darren Bent (Charlton)
Jermain Defoe (Tottenham)
Andrew Johnson (Crystal Palace)
Michael Owen (Real Madrid)
Wayne Rooney (Man Utd)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Easy money, follow the Psycho path

Betting on football is a lot like living with a woman, there are always an incredible amount of rules you have to follow to make the experience pleasurable.

Rule no 1 in football betting is also rule no 1 in female cohabitation; avoid the Psycho.

Manchester City have always been a team to steer clear from on the weekly accumulator, occasionally magnificent, sometimes woeful but consistently inconsistent. Amazingly, Stuart Pearce has steered his team to an 11 match unbeaten run, and Man City at 8/13 are the weekend’s best bet. It’s Psycho logical.

The game of the week will be played at White Hart Lane, where Tottenham and Chelsea meet in a top of the table encounter. The Champions looked very impressive in midweek, and would appear to be an excellent investment at even money. Spurs have definite ability in their team, but I would advise the following; don’t get mad, get evens.

Here’s a stat that even a pre-therapy Joey Barton would find difficult to argue with, the last five matches between Middlesbrough and Charlton at the Riverside have ended in a draw. Boro won well in midweek, but Charlton’s unique policy of starting the season well before collapsing like Wayne Rooney’s deck-chair makes the draw a cracking bet at 12/5.

Alan Shearer’s personal plea to the referee not to send off Paul Konchesky has been hailed as an act of great sportsmanship, but I noticed his plea began after the West Ham man was on his way to the shower. Big Al goes up against old foe Roy Keane on Super Sunday, and Man U at 4/5 are the pick. The Reds have scored goals for fun at St James’ Park in recent years; they’ve netted an impressive eighteen goals in their last six visits. It could be another goal-fest, as well as a ‘Battle Roy Al’.

Robbie Savage will return to Villa Park for the first time since an eye-gouging incident involving Olof Mellberg. Now i’m no hippy, but if there is anything to the theory of karma, then Savage is a cracking bet at 16/1 to finally receive a sending off in a league match. Super Soccer make the hairy Welshman the favourite in a series of red card specials.

“Back to the caravan” – Robbie Savage to be sent off 16/1
“Duncan disorderly” – Ferguson to be sent off 20/1
“Over Keane” – Roy Keane to be sent off 20/1
“Dirty Vid” – Mark Viduka to be sent off 20/1
“Jerm warfare” – Pennant to be sent off 20/1
“Mak the knife” – Claude Makelele to be sent off 20/1
“Go, the whole hog” – Wayne Rooney to be sent off 20/1
“Walk like an Egyptian” – Mido to be sent off 25/1
“Red ‘Ed” – Edgar Davids to be sent off 25/1
“Barton, think” – Joey Barton to be sent off 25/1
“Miss the Boat” – George Boateng to be sent off 33/1
“Eidur down” – Gudjohnsen to be sent off 33/1
“Hard dazed Knight” – Zat Knight to be sent off 33/1
“Dirty Den” – Bergkamp to be sent off 33/1
“Raging Bull” – Jimmy Bullard to be sent off 40/1
“Dyer–bolical” – Kieran Dyer to be sent off 40/1
“Frank Butcher” – Lampard to be sent off 40/1

Quote of the week:

“What I had for my breakfast three weeks ago has no bearing on what I do today.”
Mick McCarthy shows a philosophical side.

Stat, you’re a liberty:

Charlton will not be relegated this season; no team has ever won their opening two games and gone on to be relegated from the Premiership.

Acc of the week:

Fulham
Man City
Chelsea
Wigan
Man Utd

The five fold pays over 30/1


Weekend Betting:

West Brom v Birmingham Saturday 27th August 12.15 Live on Premiership Plus

West Brom 11/8
Draw 11/5
Birmingham 13/8

Get on: West Brom

Both teams were mullered in midweek, and the Albion are the more likely team to bounce back. It’s 10 matches on the road without a win for the Blues, plus they’ve never won at the Hawthorns in the Premiership. West Brom have it, in the Bagg.
Match Special:
West Brom to win 2-0 10/1


Aston Villa v Blackburn Saturday 27th August 15.00

Aston Villa 10/11
Draw 9/4
Blackburn 5/2

Get on: Draw

Blackburn have an excellent record at Villa Park, they’ve took maximum points on 6 of their last 11 visits, and can be confident of taking another point. There’s an interesting side issue here, it’s the Villans against the Villains, Olof Mellberg meets Robbie Savage; a true booking feast.
Match Special:
Milan Baros to score the first goal 5/1

Fulham v Everton Saturday 27th August 15.00

Fulham 13/8
Draw 11/5
Everton 11/8

Get on: Fulham

Sorry Everton fans, all the omens point to a defeat at the Cottage. Your record in London is awful, and every time you’ve played Fulham in the Premiership, the home team have won the match. On the brighter side though, Liverpool are in the Champions League, even though they finished below you in the table, that’ll cheer you up.
Match Special:
Fulham to win 1-0 7/1

Man City v Portsmouth Saturday 27th August 15.00

Man City 8/13
Draw 13/5
Portsmouth 7/2

Get on: Man City

Pompey are in real trouble. They struggled to earn a point at home to ten men in midweek, and they haven’t won a match in Manchester since 1963. As long as David James has managed to ‘prepare properly’ then City are nap of the week material.
Match Special:
Man City to score four or more goals 13/2

Tottenham v Chelsea Saturday 27th August 15.00

Tottenham 9/4
Draw 9/4
Chelsea Evs

Get on: Chelsea

Chelsea are undefeated in the Premiership against their ‘title rivals’, and look to be an even money steal at White Hart Lane. It’s 13 wins from 15 games away from home for Jose’s men, the Evens looks bigger than Wayne Rooney’s Sunday dinner.
Match Special:
Lampard to score two or more goals 10/1

West Ham v Bolton Saturday 27th August 15.00

West Ham 5/4
Draw 12/5
Bolton 13/8

Get on: Draw

The Hammers kit-man has emailed me to say that ‘Rio-Cocoa and Toddy Shearingham have looked sharp in training’. Bolton are unbeaten in three on the road, score draw.
Match Special:
Reo-Coker to score at any time 4/1


Wigan v Sunderland Saturday 27th August 15.00

Wigan Evs
Draw 9/4
Sunderland 9/4

Get on: Wigan

24 top flight matches without a win, they’re about to make it a pony.
Match Special:
Wigan to score in both halves 9/4

Middlesbrough v Charlton Sunday 28th August 13.30 Live on Sky

Middlesbrough 5/6
Draw 12/5
Charlton 13/5

Get on: Draw

Mark Viduka and Darren Bent have both started the season superbly and can add to their tally in a score-draw. Who’s the value bet for the first goalscorer? Get Bent.
Match Special:
Darren Bent to score the first goal 7/1

Newcastle v Man Utd Sunday 28th August 16.00 Live on Sky

Newcastle 11/4
Draw 12/5
Man Utd 4/5

Get on: Man Utd

Eight of the last nine matches have produced three or more goals. There could be four in this one, all to the Manchester franchise.
Match Special:
Man Utd to win 4-0 33/1

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